Saving a Life
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: Request by CBloom2. A car crash and this time it's Ethan's turn to be the superhero, his time to be the knight in shining armour.
1. Chapter 1

Walking along the pavement with his briefcase in his hand, Ethan was in a good mood. He was on his way to work when suddenly he heard a screech and a crash. He whipped his head around and saw the aftermath of a car crash.

Hello? I need an ambulance." Ethan said into the speaker as he run over towards the wreckage.

Ethan attempted to see how many people were injured and who was in top priority. Seconds later the sounds of sirens could be heard. Ethan turned around and saw paramedics jumping out of the ambulance. They ran over when they spotted Ethan.

"Ethan, what do we have here?" Dixie asked as Iain ran to the other car.

"We have two people. One with a suspected fractured tib, fib. The other suspected neck and spinal injury. In the other vehicle, we've got suspected pneumothorax and one complaining of chest pains. There is also a 5 year old child trapped in her seatbelt. "

"And how about you? Are you hurt?" Dixie questioned.

"No, no. I'm fine."

40 minutes later they had managed to get the four adults of the car. However, the 5 year old child was still trapped. The situation was getting worse for petrol was leaking and a few flames were beginning to come alight. Ethan remained in the car trying to cut the seatbelt.

"Don't mean to hurry you mate, but we need to get a move on." Dixie informed him.

"Yeah, I know. We're almost there." Ethan told her.

Dixie ran off to get another trolley while Ethan managed to pull the 5 year old girl out. As he stepped within 5 metres from the car there was a huge BANG and the force of the explosion knocked Ethan to the ground. As shards of glass fell down, Ethan protected the young girl from being caught up in the explosion.

"Ethan!" Dixie yelled running over to him.

Ethan scooped the little girl up off the road. She was unscathed. Handing her over to Dixie, Ethan readjusted his glasses. Seconds later Dixie returned.

"Here place this on that head wound." She said handing him a gauze.

The drive to the hospital didn't take them that long and having arrived at the ambulance bay, they were met by Connie, Zoe, Lofty and Robyn.

"You need to be checked over." Connie instructed to Ethan as they rolled into RESUS.

Ethan shook his head.

"No, I'm fine. "

"Dr. Hardy, cubicles now." Connie ordered.

Ethan was lead to cubicles by Lofty.

"You were lucky." Lofty told him cleaning his head wound. "You saved a little girl."

"Yeah, well it's part of the job." Ethan said nonchalantly.

Ethan was soon wracked with a coughing fit and once the fit had passed his breathing was wheezy and labored. Lofty place an oxygen mask over his face.

"Take deep breaths for me, Ethan."

Ethan gripped his chest in pain. He collapsed against the pillow.

"Ethan? Ethan, what is it? What's wrong?" Lofty called out worriedly.

No response.

"Can I get some help in here?" Lofty shouted drawing back the curtains.

"Lofty, what is it?" Cal asked running over and seeing his brother writhing in pain.

"His breathing became labored and wheezy. His SATs are dropping."

"Right, let's get him to RESUS before he crashes." Cal said looking worriedly at Ethan.

"What exactly happened?" Cal inquired rolling into RESUS.

"I don't know the full details. You better ask Dixie." Lofty told him.

The two of them burst through the double doors pushing the trolley.

"Ethan?" Zoe said seeing Ethan lying on the trolley clutching his chest.

"Cal, you can' treat him. Step away." Zoe demanded.

"Zoe, there are no other doctors." Cal said.

"Lofty, would you go and get Lily. Now, " Zoe said turning back to Cal. "Go to the staffroom and I'll get you when we know more."

Cal sighed. He was about to go when he saw Ethan become agitated.

"Where's Cal? I want Cal!"


	2. Chapter 2

Cal ran over to him.

"It's okay, Ethan. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Cal reassured him.

"What's happening?" Ethan said scared.

"Ethan, I'm just going to have a look at your chest." Lily told him as she came over.

Lily took her stethoscope from around her neck and placed it against his chest. She had just placed it back around her neck when the machines started to go wild. Both she and Cal looked up.

"BPs dropping." Cal said.

"Right, let's lay him down before he arrests." Lily announced.

As soon as Ethan was flat on the trolley he had lost his output, Lily immediately began chest compressions.

"No, no, no. Don't do this Ethan." Cal said as he stepped back and ran his hands through his hair.

By this time Zoe and Lofty had come over to help Lily with resuscitating Ethan. Although Cal wanted to stay in the room, not wanting to leave his brother's side Max steered him away.

"Come on." Cal whispered as he looked over his shoulder.

In the staffroom Max handed Cal a cup of tea, but he didn't feel like drinking it. He didn't even notice the heat coming through. The mug remained in his hands until it went cold. The door to the staffroom opened.

"How is he?" Cal jumped up.

Then he noticed the tears in Zoe's eyes. His heart stopped beating for a few minutes and he felt nauseous.

"He isn't….please tell me he isn't." Cal couldn't get the words out of his mouth.

He felt his legs buckle beneath him. He collapsed to the floor.

"No, he can't be dead." He sobbed.

Zoe slowly came over and knelt down in front of him.

"Cal, listen to me." Zoe began placing a hand on his shoulder. "Ethan's not dead."

Cal sighed with relief.

"But, I'm afraid it's not good news. He was unresponsive for too long.. His brain has been starved of oxygen that we had to intubate him in order to help him breathe again." Zoe continued.

Cal lifted his eyes up. Zoe could see unshed tears within them.

"You mean he's in a coma?" Cal whispered.

Zoe nodded.

"Until he wakes up we won't be able to know what the damage is. I have to warn you might have to prepare for yourself for the worst?"

"What do you mean by that?" Cal asked fearful he knew what Zoe's answer was going to be.

"I'm afraid he might never wake up."

Hearing those final words from Zoe, Cal let his tears run down his cheeks. Zoe with the help from Max managed to help Cal up off the floor and onto the sofa. The two of them then left Cal to be alone for a while. Minutes later Lofty found him still sat in the staffroom head in his hands. He noticed Cal was still crying as he saw the shoulders heave up and down. Lofty sat down beside him.

"I've just heard, Cal. I'm really sorry." Lofty told him sincerely.

"I'm going to lose him." Cal said.

"No, you're not going to lose him. You're going to be there when he wakes up. You're going to be his big brother." Lofty told him.

"What if he never wakes up?"

"He is going to wake up. And when he does he's going to need his brother."

Cal shook his head. He'd seen patients in these conditions before and he knew the outcome. He stood up and brusquely walked towards the door.

'Cal?" Lofty called after him. "Where are you going?"

"I can't do this anymore." Was all Lofty heard.

Lofty ran after him. He saw Cal run up the stairs in the direction of ITU where Ethan was being kept.

"Cal!" Lofty shouted after him again.

Cal burst into the room where Ethan was lying hooked up to machines that were keeping him alive. In a fit of anger and denial he began pulling at the tubes and wires around his brother.

"CAL!" Lofty ran over to him. "What are you doing?"

Cal wasn't listening. He continued to tug at the wires. As he was doing that the machines were going erratic. Lofty couldn't stop him so he ran out as fast as he could to get some help. He spotted Zoe, Rita and Charlie,

"Guys," Lofty announced breathlessly. "You've to come quick. It's Cal."

The other three followed Lofty from where he came from. As the entered they saw Cal sobbing into his brother's chest and the machine was flat lining. All around the two of them were the wires and tubes.

"Right, get him out of here." Zoe demanded.

She and Rita began hooking Ethan back up to the machines. They needed to act fast otherwise they could lose Ethan for good. They knew that was not going to happen and knew Cal really didn't want to let Ethan die. Charlie and Lofty pulled Cal away. He began to struggle against their grip.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET ME GO!" Cal yelled.

"Cal, calm down. You need to stay calm." Lofty said.

"NO. ETHAN'S GOING TO DIE."

"Look." Charlie said to him. "Look what you've done. I know it's difficult but, doing what you've just done could have killed him. I know you don't want that to happen."

Cal looked towards the bed and saw the aftermath of what he'd done. It suddenly dawned on him he could have killed his own brother. His breath hitched as he saw the machines flat lining. Zoe and Rita were doing their best to hook Ethan back up to the machines.

"Did I do that?" Cal asked hoarsely.

No one dared to answer him. They didn't need to. Cal knew immediately he had done it. He pulled away from Lofty and Charlie. Running over to Ethan's side he grabbed his hand in his and began stroking his hair.

"I'm so sorry, Eth. I'm so, so sorry. Please, don't die. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't meant to let you die. I just want you to pull through this." Cal sobbed into his brother's hair.

Cal felt someone pull him away. But, he wasn't going to leave Ethan. Their attempts at trying to get him to move away was a struggle and eventually they gave up trying. Cal continued to sob.

"Cal?" Zoe said softly. "We've managed to stablise him. But, since the tubes and wires were off him for a quite a while we don't know how much more damaged it has done."

"This is all my fault. Ethan was going to get better and now because what I've done he'll probably be brain dead. He'll probably never wake up again." Cal cried.

The other four couldn't lie to him. Cal's actions could have cost Ethan his life. No one was blaming him, Cal was doing that to himself already. They just all knew that if Ethan did manage to wake up life would never be the same again. Cal would never forgive himself if he'd caused Ethan to lose his facilities to look after himself. Leaving the two brothers alone the four of them left. Back downstairs Zoe informed the other members of staff about Ethan's condition. For the rest of the shift everyone clung on to a small glimmer of hope that a miracle would happen.


	3. Chapter 3

Cal didn't know how long he'd been asleep for. He jolted up. Looking towards Ethan he swore he could see a few movements in Ethan's eyes. Even though they were closed, he could see slight flickers. Cal sat up and squeezed his brother's hand.

"Ethan? Ethan, can you hear me? It's me, Cal."

Again Cal spotted some movements. He the felt a squeeze in his hand. Cal pushed his chair backwards, hope beginning to form. Was this the miracle they'd been hoping for? Was Ethan finally waking up?

"Nibbles, if you can hear me squeeze my hand again." Cal told him.

He felt a squeeze. He ran towards the door and yanked it open. He saw Zoe walking along the corridor.

"Zoe!" Cal called out.

"Cal, what is it?" Zoe asked swiftly walking over to him.

"I think he's waking up. I saw some movements in his eyes and he squeezed my hand."

Zoe looked at him doubtfully.

"Let's not be too hasty."

"Zoe, he's waking up." Cal said astonished. "Isn't that good?"

"As I said earlier on, we don't what damage has been done." Zoe answered him.

Zoe walked over to the bed and shone a torch into Ethan's eyes.

"Both pupils are dilated and reactive." Zoe said.

"So that's good."

Zoe didn't answer him. She continued her examination. Vitals were fine and everything seemed normal. Zoe then checked his reflexes. He responded with a squeeze every time Zoe asked him a question.

"Well, his vitals are stable and he does seem to be reacting when I ask him questions. I think we should remove the tube to see if he can breathe on his own." Zoe explained to Cal.

The two of them managed to remove the tube from Ethan's throat. Zoe placed her stethoscope against his chest. He was breathing fine.

"How is he?" Cal asked watching Zoe check his breaths.

"He's breathing." Zoe told him.

Cal smiled. He walked over to Ethan and held his hand.

"You're going to be just fine. All you need to do know is wake up. And when you do I will be here." Cal told him.

Ethan's eyes flickered open the moment Cal finished talking.

"Cal?" Ethan said croakily.

"Yes, Nibbles. I'm here."

"Why can't I feel my legs?"

"You can't feel your legs?" Zoe asked coming up to the end of the bed.

Ethan shook his head.

"No, I can't feel my legs. Why can't I feel my legs?" Ethan was beginning to panic.

"Ethan, calm down. You've just woken up. I don't want you to get worked up. " Cal said placing an oxygen mask over his face.

Ethan brushed it away.

"Why can't I feel my legs?" Ethan asked again.

"I don't know." Zoe said truthfully. "I'll get another CT scan."

"Am I going to be okay?" Ethan asked.

"Course you are. " Cal reassured him. "I'm sure it's only temporary."

The results of CT scan soon returned. It showed the bleed in Ethan's brain had stopped, but because he'd been in a coma for so long and the tube had been removed it had caused some damage. Zoe entered the room with the results in her hand.

"Zoe, what is it?" Ethan asked as he felt Cal grab his hand.

"It's not good news I'm afraid." She told them frankly.

"Tell me. How bad is it?" Ethan said firmly.

"There's no easy way of putting this."

"Zoe, just tell me."

"You're paralyzed."

"What?"

"I'm so sorry, Ethan but, you won't be able to walk again."

Ethan's breath hitched and his breathing became strained. Cal began to rub his back holding the oxygen mask over his face.

"Zoe?" Cal said quietly so Ethan wouldn't hear. "Is it because of me?"

Zoe shook her.

"No, of course not."

"Zoe, don't lie to me. It is because of me, isn't it? It's because I pulled the tube out."

"Cal, to be honest we can't say for certain. Ethan could have been paralyzed before that happened."

"Please, Zoe. I need to know. Is Ethan paralyzed because of me?"

"I've told you we can't be sure."

"What if it is my fault? How am I supposed to tell him I was the one who made him paralyzed? How am I supposed to tell him it's my fault he'll never walk again."

"If we can't be certain about the cause of his paralysis then he doesn't need to know."

"You want me to lie to him? I can't do that."

"Then it's up to you. But, think about it. Do you think Ethan would want you to take the blame for something you may or may not have done?"

"And if I did?"

"Then you should tell him. But, don't do it to make you feel better."

"Feel better?" Cal hissed. "I don't want it to do it to make me feel better. That's selfish. I want to do it so I can tell Ethan the truth. I want to tell him so he doesn't live his life thinking it was his fault he lost his ability to walk. He should know it was my fault."

"What good would it do to your relationship, if it isn't your fault. It isn't anyone's fault.?

"What will happen to my relationship with him if it is my fault? At least this way it will take a burden off his shoulders."

"Very well, then. If you think this is the right decision you should tell him." Was all Zoe could say.

Zoe left them so Cal could break the news. She headed back downstairs to inform everyone of the bad news.


	4. Chapter 4

Back downstairs Zoe stood chatting to Rita, Lofty and Robyn.

"How are they?" Rita asked.

"Ethan's fine. Well, not exactly fine but, it's Cal I'm more worried about."

"Why?"

"He blames himself for what's happened to Ethan. He thinks it's his fault Ethan's paralyzed. He thinks because he pulled the wires off him and the tube out Ethan won't be able to walk."

"Cal must know we can't be sure if Ethan was paralyzed before or after he removed the tube and wires."

"I've tried telling him. But, he's convinced that it's his fault."

'They will get through this, won't they?" Robyn added.

"Together they will."

"Well, that's a good thing they do still have each other." Lofty continued.

Back up in ITU Ethan sat fiddling with his glasses. Cal knew he was stressed.

"It's going to be okay, Eth." Cal explained to him.

"How can you be so sure? I'm paralyzed." Ethan replied.

"I know because we'll get through this together. I'll be here for you."

The realization of him never being able to walk again suddenly hit Ethan and tears began to fall. Cal's heart broke as he saw his brother cry. Gently sitting down next to him on the bed Cal placed an arm around his shoulder and pulled his head down so it was resting upon his chest.

"Sssh. It's okay, Nibbles. We'll get through this, I promise."

"What if I can't do it?" Ethan answered.

"Don't think like that. Of course you'll be able to do it. Even without me you'll be able to do it. But, if you do need me then I'll be right next to you. I won't be going anywhere. I won't let you face this on your own. Not when it was me who did this to you."

Ethan shook your head.

"No, Cal. This isn't your fault. Like Zoe said I could have been paralyzed earlier on."

"I tried to kill you, Ethan. I tried to kill my own brother, my little brother. I'll never forgive myself for what I've done to you."

"You mustn't blame yourself. I don't.."

"But, you would if I did do it."

"Maybe. But, you didn't. So stop it."

Ethan snuggled closer towards Cal and felt Cal tighten his hold around him. For a minute the two of them stayed there. Even though they were both adults and hadn't been that intimate since they were kids, the feeling that came with it was a comfort. A comfort they had missed.

"You told me I could get through this on my own without you." Ethan said, pulling away.

"Yeah, well you could. You've always been stronger than me."

"No, I couldn't. I could never do it without you, Cal. I will always need my big brother around."

Cal smiled with tears in his eyes. He gave Ethan a hug and in return Ethan hugged him back.

"And I'll always need my little brother around." Cal responded into his brother's blond curls.

Two days after being admitted to ITU Ethan was free to go home. Connie had given both Cal and Ethan time off. Ethan was instructed to rest up and when he was ready he could come back to work to discuss what would happen next. Cal, on the other hand, had been told to stay and look after his brother. Cal was more than happy to oblige. Ethan was now using a wheelchair and although it helped, every now and then he would get frustrated he couldn't walk he would get upset. Every time he lost his temper he would keep saying he couldn't live like this. Cal was on hand to calm him down and talk with him. Cal kept telling Ethan he was going to be okay. They would get through this together. It was a Thursday night. Cal was busy watching the TV while Ethan was having a bath. So far it had been rather quiet. Cal didn't seem to be to worried. Ethan was probably resting his eyes and enjoying the hot water. But after 35 minutes, Cal hadn't heard a sound coming from the bathroom. Concerned, Cal got up from the sofa and walked towards the bathroom door. He knocked on the door waiting to receive an answer. He got no reply. He tried again. Nothing. He turned the handle. The door was unlocked. Pushing the door open wide he looked towards the bath tub. He expected to see Ethan lying in the water. He didn't. Then he saw him. His whole body was submerged in the water and his head too. Cal ran towards the tub. Plunging his arms into the water not caring he got his sleeves wet he lifted Ethan out of the water. He placed his ear against Ethan's mouth. He wasn't breathing. Scooping him out of the tub he laid Ethan gently on the bathroom mat and thumped his fist upon Ethan's chest. After a second thump water splutter out of Ethan's mouth. Putting him onto his side Cal attempted to get the rest of the water out off his throat. Once he was sure there was no more water to come out Cal knelt down in front of Ethan and checked his breathing. It was there, but faint. Placing him in the recovery position, Cal took out his phone and dialed 999.


	5. Chapter 5

"999 operator. What service do you require?" A voice at the other end asked.

"Uh, yes. I need an ambulance please. It's my brother. He's tried to drown himself." Cal explained.

'Alright, Is he conscious at all?"

"No, he's not. But, he's breathing. "

"How long was he under the water for?"

"Uh, I don't know. About an hour to an hour and a half."

"Okay, well an ambulance is on its way. ETA 5 minutes."

The call ended. Cal returned to Ethan.

"The ambulance is on its way, Ethan. Just hang on in there." Cal told him.

"Paramedics!"

Cal sighed as he heard the familiar voice of Dixie.

"Dixie, in here."

Dixie and Iain rushed into the bathroom. They stood frozen to the spot when they saw an unconscious Ethan lying on the floor.

"Cal, what's going, mate?" Dixie asked as she knelt down beside him.

"Ethan's tried to drown himself. He's been unconscious for the last 25 minutes and pulse is weak. But, I don't know how long he was in the water for. I just thought he was having a relax in bath."

Dixie placed an oxygen mask over his face.

"Right, Iain. Can you get the trolley and I need a litre of saline. " Dixie told him.

The three of them rolled Ethan into the back of the ambulance. Iain jumped into the front while Dixie and Cal got into the back. The drive to the hospital was only 5 minutes but, to Cal it felt like eternity.

"Dixie, he is going to be alright?" Cal asked still watching over his brother.

"Yeah, course he will."

Dixie smiled at him. She knew when they first arrived at Holby they were at each other's throats, but over the past year she could see they both cared about each other deep down. The ambulance soon arrived outside the ED and Iain got out the back while the back doors were pushed open. Bursting through the double doors they were met by Connie, Rita and Robyn.

"Right, who do we have here?" Connie asked.

"Ethan." Dixie announced.

Connie was shocked but, still remained professional.

"Give me an update." She demanded.

"Ethan was found in the bath tub, having been there for about an hour or more. He's conscious but, unresponsive and his breathing is there but, faint."

They rolled into RESUS while Cal kept holding Ethan's hand.

"Can I have FBCs , U & Es, LFTs and another litre of saline." Connie ordered while she checked Ethan's vitals.

"Come on, Cal." Rita said. "You can't be here."

"Please, Rita. I need to stay. I can't leave him."

"Dr. Knight, go to the staffroom now." Connie called over.

Cal reluctantly left the room and headed to the staffroom. Waiting to hear anything about Ethan's condition was torture. He just wanted to know if he was going to be alright. Still pacing Cal heard the door open.

"Connie, how is he? He's okay isn't he?" Cal practically ran over to her.

It was then he noticed the tears in her eyes. Cal frantically shook his head. No, this couldn't be happening. He didn't want to hear the words he knew Connie was going to say to him. He didn't want to accept what was coming.

"Please, don't say it." Cal choked. "Please don't say he's dead."

"I am so sorry, Cal."

"But, he was breathing. He had an output."

"I'm afraid we lost it."

"But, you can save him."

"We've done everything we can. I'm afraid he's gone."

There was a heart wrenching scream as Cal collapsed to the floor. Ethan was gone. His little brother was dead. Cal cried his heart out. He couldn't believe it. Ethan had saved a little girls life and in the aftermath of what had happened had lost his life. Life would never be the same.


	6. Chapter 6

Cal had no idea how he got back home. He was sure it hadn't driven. He was in no fit state to drive. Someone must have driven him back. Lofty or Charlie perhaps. Entering the flat it seemed deadly silent. More silent than usual. Everywhere he looked he could see traces of Ethan. Cal never knew how much this flat reminded him of his brother. Then again it had been his brother's flat so it made sense to see his brother's touches here and there. Instead of staying the living room, Cal headed straight for his own bedroom. He couldn't stay in a place where everything reminded him of Ethan. On his way to his own bedroom Cal passed by Ethan's room. Pausing on the way he hesitated outside and debated on whether he should enter or not. He knew sooner or later he would have to. He would have to, to sort out all of Ethan's belongings. He decided against it at this moment in time and carried on down to his room. Closing the bedroom door behind him Cal leant his head against the door frame. Sliding down the frame he let more tears fall. Bringing his knees up to his chin he wrapped his arms around them and sat there letting the tears roll down his cheeks. He would have to clear out Ethan's room. Then there was the funeral to arrange. At that thought his breath choked. He didn't want to have to do all these things because if he did them it would make the whole situation real. It would mean his brother was really gone. It mean his brother would never be coming back. Cal would never see his little brother. Sobbing into his knees he thought about all the times he used to tease him, used to call him 'Nibbles' at work. But, the thing that hurt Cal the most was thinking he never got to say 'I love you' one last time. And the thought that broke Cal's heart was thinking Ethan never knew how much he cared about him. Had Ethan died thinking Cal didn't love him? That was far from the truth. Cal loved him with all his heart and whatever wrong he'd done over the past year he only did it because he loved his little brother. Lifting his head off his knees something caught his eye. Getting up off the floor he walked over to his bedside table. Leaning against the lamp was an envelope. Cal recognised the neat handwriting immediately. Opening it he saw what the letter read:

 _Dear Cal,_

 _I think by now you know what this letter is. And I know what you must be thinking. You think this is just a phase, a phase I will get over. But, the truth of it is, I can't go on living like this. Without my ability to walk how am I supposed to work? How am I supposed to carry on with the job I love? The answer is, I can't. And because I won't be able to work it means I won't be able to support myself. I don't want to rely on you for everything. I can't do that to you. So this is why I have to go._

 _Please, don't try and stop me. Or make me change my mind. My mind's made up. I can't be a burden to you._

 _I know I've not exactly been the supportive brother or even the brother you really wanted. I was never the type to go out and get drunk. And even though it made me so mad when you did all those things, I'm still grateful I have you for a brother. I hope in time you'll understand why I had do what I did._

 _It will be painful to begin with and you'll have a hard time letting me go or even accepting I'm gone, but please let me go. You'll have the support of all our friends in the ED so you'll get through this._

 _Just remember that I'll always love you._

 _Forever your little brother,_

 _Ethan_

The tears stained the ink as the words sunk in and the truth finally hit him. Cal held the letter against his chest feeling some comfort from his brother's words. That night Cal slept in Ethan's room hoping to feel closer to his brother.


	7. Chapter 7

It was the day of Ethan's funeral and everyone was dressed in black ready to attend the service. Dixie and Iain walked through the door. When they saw everyone dressed in black attire they looked each other, confused. Spotting Charlie the two of them headed over.

"What's going on here?" Iain asked.

"Wait, you haven't heard?" Charlie inquired.

Both paramedics shook their heads.

"Heard about what?" Dixie added.

"Ethan."

"No. What about Ethan?" Iain continued.

The two paramedics saw Charlie hesitate and then noticed there were tears in his eyes.

"Charlie, what is it? What's happened?" Dixie wondered.

"He didn't make it."

"What?" said Dixie and Iain, both shocked.

"What do you mean he didn't make it?"

"We tried to resuscitate him last night, but I'm afraid he died." Charlie said quietly.

"Oh, no. Not Ethan." Dixie said.

"What about Cal? How's he coping?" Iain inquired.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since I drove him home last night."

"When's the service?" Dixie asked.

"In about an hour."

Dixie and Iain nodded.

"Right, well we'll be there then."

"Oh, by the way, could you go and find Cal?" Charlie asked as they walked away.

They nodded in response. Heading back outside they saw Cal sitting on a bench outside the ED. Walking over to him they both sat down on either side.

"We're sorry, mate." Iain said.

Cal just nodded.

"You know the funeral is in an hour. Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Dixie asked quietly.

"I can't go."

"Why can't you?"

"Because it will all be real then. It will finally mean I've lost him." Cal responded fresh tears forming in his eyes.

"You'll get through this. We'll all here to support you." Iain said. "Ethan would be proud of you.

"You sure?" Cal asked.

"Course I am."

The three of them walked together towards the church. Inside Cal saw everyone sitting and waiting. He couldn't do it. He couldn't face all his colleagues and friends. He was about to walk away when Dixie and Iain gave him a nod. Regaining his composure, Cal walked down the aisle and up to the podium. Standing in front of everyone he began to speak:

"Ethan was a kind man, a good doctor and the best brother anyone could ask for. He told me he was sorry he was never really the brother I wanted. But, the truth of it is, I could never have wished for a better brother.

Earlier on I didn't know if I would be able to stand up here but, seeing you here today has given me the courage to speak.

Someone told me Ethan would be proud of me. But, to be honest I don't think he would. I'm not proud of me. I haven't exactly been the best brother in the world. Even when we were kids I wasn't exactly the big brother I should have been. My whole life Ethan has always been by my side, has been my safety net. And knowing he was there I'd do what I'd always done when things got tough. I'd run and not deal with the consequences. I didn't care because I knew Ethan was there to pick me up. But, now….now that he's gone I've finally realised how much I took him for granted. I never really took the time to tell him how grateful I am…was to have a brother like him.

In some ways I've always thought Ethan should have been the older one. He certainly acted it. These past few years have been the most precious. Our relationship has never been as close as it has been. And that's because it took something like the car crash, the car crash that took the life of our friend, Jeff and nearly cost me my brother's life to make me realise just how much Ethan meant to me. Almost losing him on that fateful day made me realise I never really told him I loved him. And I did…do love him. I'll always will. He'll always be my little brother. I only wish I got the chance to be his big brother and he got the chance to have a big brother he deserved."

Cal turned to face the coffin.

"I love you, Nibbles."

He stepped down from the podium and sat in the front between Dixie and Iain.

"See, I told you he'd be proud of you." Iain whispered in his ear.

"I just hope you're right." Cal said sadly.

The service was over. Everyone was going to the pub for the wake and to remember Ethan's life. But, Cal decided he wasn't going to go. Charlie saw him sneak off back to his car.

"Cal?" Charlie called after him. "Aren't you coming?"

"No. There's something I need to do.."

"Can't it wait?"

"This is important, Charlie."

"More important than your brother?"

"Of course not. But, it's something Ethan would have wanted. Something we both would have wanted. "

Charlie just nodded and headed back to where the others were waiting. Cal got into the car and drove off. He knew doing this Ethan would be proud of him and that brought a smile to his face.


	8. Chapter 8 Epilogue

_1 year later….._

Cal stood in the churchyard. In his arms was a little girl.

"Sorry, I've haven't been to see you as much, Nibbles. But life has been quite busy now I've got Matilda with me. Yes, you heard right. I've decided to adopt Matilda. I'm just sad she'll never see you again. She misses you as do I, but I hope she'll know how much you loved her. She wanted to give you something to remember her by so here's her favourite purple sheep." Cal said placing it in front of the gravestone.

Matilda gurgled in his arms. Cal looked her and smiled.

"Yes, Toad. I'm sure uncle Ethan is happy to see you where you belong and with the people you love. He'll always be watching over you."

She continued to flap her arms and kicked her legs. Cal chuckled. He sense Matilda wanted to get down so placing her on the grass he let her crawl forward towards the gravestone. Reaching the photo of Ethan beside her little toy she placed her tiny hands on the frame, leant forward and placed a small kiss on top of the photo. Cal picked her up again and held her in his arms. Ethan would be proud of him. He knew his brother would always be watching over them and making sure life was a good was for them. Walking away with his daughter in his arms Cal smiled. Life was going to get better.

 **The End**

 _ **Sorry for such a short chapter, but I felt like this was the right way to end it. Anyway thank you to all you who have continued to read and review my stories. Your words and tips have been a huge help. I think my writing has improved and I hope to continue to write more stories you enjoy reading. So until next time...**_


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